Looking back… It was it the fastest six (6) months of my life. April to September of 2009 was just like a wind that came.
I just can’t find the proper adjective to explain what my life was during my time preparing for the Bar Exam. Though I started early in my preparation for the exam, as early as November of 2008, I was too relaxed during November to March. Although I was studying, I still found time to have relax. As a result, I was not able to cover all subjects during my advance review, and also because I was still attending a regular class for the completion of the course.
When the review proper came, that was the time that I felt the pressure, the realization that Bar Exam was very near. I isolated my self. I ignore my friends. I set aside my gimmiks, and less time with my family. However, I still found time to unwind whenever I felt that I can no longer absorb what I was reading, stressed or burnt out. But the only thing i did was to go out and watched a movie, and the best time was during the last full show screening, after which, I went straight to bed. There maybe times that I was with friends and had a bottle or two of beers, but it didn’t happen often, only during special occasions like birthdays or other gathering.
Studying for the Bar Exam was like going to a War, a battle that you have to win. Every student of law must be fully prepared if they will take the Exam, to hurdle the bar. Preparation was a devotion, a sacrifice. Every hour counts. Read at least 9 Hours a day, and make sure that while reading, you take down notes, understand, internalize, and memorize if necessary. If you are a slow reader, learn how to read fast with high percentage of retention level, there’s no excuse, every body is doing it or at least trying to do it, 10 pages an hour at least in the start of your review, not less than that, and each day pages increases per hour.
Avoid chatting, talking or socializing with friends or colleagues, just think that they are not worth 10 pages of your time. If you go out with friends, or out for a date, be sure to have you “Codal” with you, read it!
I had to be organized. I synchronized my readings with my bar review class. I made a calendar and strictly followed it. If in any occasion that I wasn’t able to cover my scheduled reading, I had no choice but to skip it and proceed with the next, anyway a had a 2nd reading to cover those unfinished topics. So, if there were times that my friends asked me to go out, and other invitations or errands to attend to, I had no choice but to have a rain check if I will be able to finished what was in my schedule in that day.
Before, I was scheduled every weekend to went home in my hometown with my family, but then due to heavy load of readings, a weekly became every other week, and later on became once a month, thinking that I am not productive when I’m at home. When I’m at home, the tendency were to spend time with them, chat with my mom or my siblings, or play with my nephews and niece. Even though I’m in my room, i cannot help but to go out and talk to them, and some times my nephew and niece were the ones who entered in my room. And even the travel time going to and from Manila were a wasted time. I cannot read in the bus or while traveling. And by the time that I arrived, I’m already tired and can no longer read
There were times that I failed to join my family in some gatherings and out-of-town escapades; thinking that they were out there having fun, while me, in my room studying.
Another sacrifice that I had to make was to avoid the World Wide Wed (www). I avoided my computer, I forced my self not to use the internet and stop blogging (although I was already earning in my blog)
The worst part in my preparation for the bar exam was that I had to stop going to the gym, 3 to 4 hours were wasted every time I went out in the gym. Working out for 2 hours and the other extra hours for preparation before and after the gym. Thinking that I will be wasting my valuable time, I had to gave up the gym and gained at least 50 pages. And now, after the Bar Exam, I gained so much weight…. i think 15 – 20 lbs!!!!! And now, i have to sweat all the fats out! I just do not know until when. Its very common that the Bar Candidates either get fat, or became fatter!! hahahah… We eat and eat, and never had the time to burn the extra calories. Eating while reading, while seating… hmmm… for the whole day!!! Not to mention the midnight snack! No wonder my shirts no longer fits, because of the bulging belly, not to mention my pants! So sad… This will not happen if I were responsible enough to use my time.
It was like I’m a prisoner of my self; in solitude; in a state of being or living alone; secluded; remote from habitations; absent from any human activity. Inspite of this self-pitied emotions, I do admit that I was not sad nor lonely. I was used to it. Though I cried when I’m alone, thinking that I had to do it and i’m in this kind of life, a sacrifice that I have to make for the blood, sweat, and sacrifices of my parents just for me to have a good future; Thinking that I have to reason to fail because they are already providing the resources, and the rest depended upon me. My parents were my strength, my will power to finish what i had started. I want to see the smile in their faces that I have fulfilled their dreams for me. I would like to see them proud of me. I hope to see those priceless smile… soon.